One of the questions I ask Weight of Grace participants is, “What is good about being ‘fat’?” Almost always, the first answer given to that question is, “Nothing!!” But, usually it takes just one or two examples to jump-start a stream of responses; such as, you don’t have to worry about men making unwanted advances; if people like you, it’s for you and not for your looks; you don’t have to worry that you’ll get too proud about your appearance; women aren’t threatened by you; men feel comfortable having you as a friend; you feel less likely to be attacked or assaulted; you don’t have to constantly work at staying thin; you feel more nurturing; people expect less of you; or you feel you’re taken more seriously when you give your opinion.
There can be a great deal about being “fat” that is actually difficult to give up! Once you acknowledge this, you are then able to prayerfully address the thinking that is motivating you to stay “fat.” Usually this involves making a decision to trust God in an area where you’ve actually been trusting your “fat.”
A big step for me was acknowledging that I believed my “fat” was keeping me away from any temptation to engage in sexual sin since nobody would want someone as fat and ugly as I was. Once I recognized this line of thinking, I could make a decision to trust God’s work in me – that He’d given me a new heart, and therefore I desire to love and obey him more than I desire sin – and to trust his constant provision of a “way of escape” from every temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). This meant that the “fat” was no longer needed as a protection against sexual sin, and suddenly my binge-eating became less frequent and intense.
Ask God to reveal to you how your “fat” may actually be serving a purpose in your life and to reveal how he is able to meet the need that you think the “fat” is fulfilling.
Such great and powerful information for me. I always thought if I’m more thin and “sexy,” I would go wild with men to get attention and approval since I never did from my father growing up. So this all makes sense, that if I keep that layer of fat on to protect me. I won’t be attractive to men and won’t be promiscuous. Thanks for the great insights in these blogs. They are wonderful P.S. The sad thing is that men like ALL sizes and this fat is not protecting me from anything OR allowing any intimacy into my life because it keeps wonderful things and people away as well .